Forgotten How To Remember
by IchigoAmu
Summary: Rima is feeling lost and forgotten. Her mother is gone, her father doesn't care and the guy she likes thinks of her as a friend. To top it all off, Hinamori Amu, the school's "Cool&Spicy" student likes Kukai too! But is he really the one for her? R&R pls
1. Prologue To The Prologue

**Sasha: WELL here's another story. Even though I haven't updated my others in like, a year.**

**Amu: she thinks no one reads them**

**Sasha: i havent had any new comments on the Buono! one shots in ages... READ THEM KUDASAI!**

**Ikuto: ... what about Amu, she's supposed to be trapped in a room with Tadase?**

**Sasha: Oh yah... ANYWAY, google Sasha Julia they're my poems on , I'll try to update the other stories. Or at least I will when I write the next chapter...**

* * *

I sat there quietly, drinking my orange juice. A tear escaped from under my eyelid and rolled down my cheek.

Putting the glass down, I stared into the bland wall of my bland room. The room owned by me, the bland Rima Mashiro.  
Slowly at first, then quickly the tears that I'd held back for so long fell, and I sobbed quietly. I wished someone would come to comfort me, but at the same time I didn't. Not that it made a difference.

I knew no one would come.

As I pushed a wave of my thick golden hair behind my ear I thought what it'd be like if I wasn't here. If I removed myself from the equation... Yes, everything would be better. None of this would have happened because it was all my fault.

Maybe it wasn't too late to change things. Maybe I could still make it like I was never here...

No...

Like I was never born.

* * *

**Sasha: Yuss this was just a preview if people like it I'll update more. Oh the disclaimer...**

**Ikuto: Sasha doesn't own Shugo Chara**

**Sasha: Also you guys, I just had an idea not sure if this'll work but whatever... This is the readers story, kay? It's your story. I've started it off, and you guys PM me with what should happen next after every chapter. Usually just send me something like "This happens and this person does this" but if you have a whole chapter I can put it in too. If you get chosen I will review your stories and subscribe to you and your name will be mentioned at the start and end of the chapter.  
For some chapters you guys will also have a chance to be in the story, but only if it says in the chapter before.  
So yah, please help! **

**Ikuto&Amu: R&R and PM&SUB!**


	2. The Real Prologue

**Sasha: weeellll chapter two is up. this story is going to be depressing... like, very depressing...**

**Amu: am I going to be in this story?**

**Sasha: YEAH!**

**Kusukusu: will i?**

**Sasha: i'm not sure... reviewers, can you tell me if you'd like Kusukusu to be in this?**

* * *

It's never been the same since my mom died. She comitted suicide. Killed herself. Every day all i do is sit and stare into nothing, wondering why.  
The shrinks said it's just shock.  
That I'll get over it.  
A fucking lot they know.

My dad doesn't help either. Even though they were always fighting, even though he said all those things, he really did love her. But now... Because of all those things he said he thinks it's his fault.

*FLASHBACK*  
The night I found her was the worst night of my life.  
My boyfriend had just dumped me for the snooty rich bitch Saaya Yamabuki, and left me to walk the four miles home from a party we were at. In stilettos. And the rain.  
But nothing could compare to the moment I dragged my feet up the familliar stone steps to my house and heard a thud.  
I put my key in the lock and opened the door as quietly as I could.  
Reaching for one of my father's umbrellas I edged into the kitchen.  
What I saw was my mother lying on the bloody kitchen table, her hands tightly grasping a knife.  
Everything that happened after was a blur.  
I went from the girl who had almost everything to the girl had nothing but blisters, a broken heart and a shattered dream of becoming a comedien.  
Because nothing is funny anymore.

* * *

**Sasha: holy crap... this story... i just read it again and it is FRIKKING DEPRESSING!**

**Ikuto: quick, hurry up and suggest something to do next before she starts over imagining everything... again..**

**Amu:oh god please no, review soon!**

**Sasha: *SOBS* WHY RIMA-CHAN? WHHYYYY?**

**Ikuto: *hits Sasha with baseball bat***

**Sasha: *o***

**Amu & Ikuto: R&R PLEASEE**


	3. Chapter 1 FINALLY

**Sasha: weeeeelll i finally decided to write a chapter of mediumish length and guess what... IT HAS DIALOGUE!**

**Ikuto: O.o**

**Sasha: what?**

**Amu: o.O**

**Sasha: WHAT?**

**Amu & Ikuto: O.O**

**Sasha: SHUT UP!11!one!2!two!1!**

**Amu: is this reflecting your life at the moment?**

**Sasha: no. Rima doesn't have any friends.**

**Ikuto: *facepalm***

**Sasha: what?**

**Amu: i really do think we broke her a while ago...**

**Sasha: ANYWAYYY! Since I updated with what can be considered a proper chapter, I'm hoping more people will suggest things so I don't have to make up everything...**

**Ikuto: because she's lazy.**

**Sasha: ON WITH THE CHAPTER **

* * *

"Rima honey, hurry up or you'll be late for school." my father called down the stairs, trying to make it seem like he still cares.

"Yeah, yeah." I mumble

As I pulled my hair behind a cute black headband, I composed my face. My mask.

I'd decided I'd start at my new school as the cute, happy girl I was before it happened.

But it was all fake.

I had made too many masks. I couldn't remember much about my real feelings anymore, though I suppose that was the point.

I trudge down the stairs and glance at the newly furnished kitchen.

"Why did we move?" I asked in an annoyed tone. "Now I have to start at a new school. What was wrong with my old one?"

He sighed

"I thought it would be better for your education."

Heh. Yeah right.

"Whatever..."

I gathered up my new school books and drew in their smell. If there was one thing i loved it was the smell of fresh new pages, without crumples or marks. Yeah, I was a dork like that.

I then walked out the door without another word to my father.

Today was a new day, with a new school, a newly settled house and a new me.

I walked into the schoolyard, already full of students chatting and bustling around, and into the school foyer.

Again, I made my face relax into a cute smile as boys stared at me.

Fucking boys. They never do any good.

Up at the desk I cleared my throat loudly.

"Hello, I'm Mashiro Rima, the new girl? If you could tell me where to go that'd be great."

The woman took one look at me and went back to doing her nails. What a bitch! I'm a new student, and she doesn't even say hello!

I glared at her, and noticed a guy with auburn hair watching me. When he saw me look at him he grinned and walked up.

"Hey! First day here, huh? My names Souma Kukai, I'm one of the guardians of the school. You can call me Kukai! I'd be happy to show you around!"

Inside I smirked. It was almost too easy to get that bitch into trouble... My first day and I'd already found one target.

A target was a person I hated, who's life I'd ruin.

There were no targets before the "accident".

All of a sudden my eyes misted up with tears and I made myself seem even shorter than usual.

"Thank you for being so kind to me! I came to the front office and that woman over there just ignored me. I waited for ages, and she just filed her nails. I feel so horrible... what could I have done to make her hate me?" I gushed to him, still with tears dripping down my face.

"Hey, don't cry!" he looked startled "That's just Kirai. Her name suits her, don't you think? She's just upset because... Well, she's always like that..." he trailed off

"Anyway, what year are you in? All the timetables are on the walls."

"I'm in grade two of Junior High." I sniffed, annoyed that Kirai was going to get away with treating me badly.

"Ah, okay. So I'm a year above you. I might go and get someone who can help you more... Yo! Hinamori!" he called out to a girl walking past.

God, she looked weird. Instead of wearing the uniform like a normal person, she had personalised it with a belt and baggy socks. Flocks of boys stared at her, hearts in their eyes, while girls trailed after her like lost puppies. But that wasn't the strangest thing about her. The strangest thing about her was that her hair was PINK.

I really didn't want to know this freak.

"Hey Kukai. Who's this?" she asked, a little sharply. Ohh, sounds like someone has a crush. Another target.

"Oh my god, I love your hair! Is it like, natural? Or do you dye it?" okay, so my personality was now Valley Girl. Great job Rima.

"This is Mashiro Rima. She's new. I was wondering if you'd be able to show her around, since you're going to be in the same year and all."

'Hinamori' smiled sweetly. Too sweetly."I'd be happy to look after her! Make her welcome! Like, omigod, we'll have so much fun! My name's Amu by the way! I'm sure we'll be like, total besties!" Kukai looked confused.

"Oooookkkaayyy then... I'll see you guys later..." he walked away, backwards, staring at us like we were mad.

As soon as he was out of sight, Amu spun to face me.

"You stay AWAY from Kukai!" she spat "Or you'll regret it."

"Fuck off. He's not yours, _Amu_."

"Not mine _yet_. And don't say my name like that!"

"I'll do it if I want to, _Amu_. Let's make a bet." I told her, a smirk forming on my face. "Whoever can get Kukai to kiss them back by the fifth week of school wins him."

This was going to be easy.

"For better or worse Mashiro Rima, you just got yourself a deal."

* * *

**Sasha: okay, so like, please suggest things or I'll like, die. Or is it dye? IDK! OMG! I bought new shoes the other day. And they were RED like oMG**

**Ikuto: she's broken again...**

**Amu: oh shit...**

**Ikuto & Sasha: *.***

**Amu: What? WHAT? IS THERE SOMETHING ON MY FACE?**

**Ikuto: you swore...**

**Sasha: YUP ANYWAY, please suggest things. PM me!**

**Amu&Ikuto: R&R! **


	4. Chapter 2

**Sasha: I'm sorry this took so long to update, but I had a lot of school work.**

**Amu: yeah, that means she was too busy singing, dancing and gaming to write.**

**Sasha: SHUT UP!**

**Ikuto: #AGREE**

**Sasha: dude, you spend too much time around my friends. And you're like, 17. PERVERT!111!one!122! Anyway,my life sucks so imma go wallow in sadness. People hate me. You know who? Okay, the people who hate me ar-**

**Amu&Ikuto: *duct tape her mouth***

**Sasha: mmmph!**

**Amu: she doesn't own anything except the plot-line.**

* * *

Amu grudgingly showed me to the room where I'd be having English.

"There. Now piss off and let me win the bet."

I glared at her.

"Not on your life."

Then I put a smile on my face and entered the classroom.

All of a sudden the room was silent.

I sighed inwardly.

"Hello everybody. My name is Mashiro Rima and I'm going to be in your class this year! Omigod, this is going to be so fun!" I gushed.

All the boys cried "She's so cute!" and pushed girls off the seats next to them.

Only one boy didn't offer me a seat.

He was sitting right at the back and was looking at me critically, as if assessing everything about me.

His eyes were calculating behind his shining glasses, and his green

I walked up and sat down beside him.

"Hey! You can call me Rima." I told him.

An amused smirk settled onto his face.

"Kairi." He replied.

"So, what is this school like?" I asked

"Seiyo High School is the most popular school in the area for children aged 13-16. You must be intelligent to get in at half term. You're name was Mashiro-san, correct? I trust you have liked Seiyo so far? If you have any qualms feel free to talk to me, as I am one of the Guardians of this school."

I sat for a second, shocked at his sudden outburst. But then I remembered... Kukai was a Guardian! I could use this weirdo to get to him and win the bet!

"I've heard a lot about these 'Guardians', but what do they do? Who are they? Do they, like, look after everything?"

"The Guardians are a student representative council. We address problems in the school. The current Guardians are as follows:

Hinamori Amu, Souma Kukai, Hotori Tadase, Yuiki Yaya, Fujisaki Nagihiko and myself."

Amu was a Guardian?

"How do you become a Guardian?" if I could become one then Kukai would talk to me more...

"New Guardians are selected by the current Guardians. They all have certain... talents..." he trailed off as the teacher stood up to start class.

Now, the thing about English is that... I fail at it. Miserably. So you can guess that my teacher would be someone who'd speak it for the whole lesson.

"Okay everybody, open up sugar dog book, to fly English" Miss. Dennea said.

Oh damn.

I turned to Kairi.

"Umm... could you please tell me what we had to open up to? I'm... not the best at English."

"Page 36."

"Thanks..."

I opened the book and saw a whole load of gibberish. All I could understand was a few words here and there... boy, red, girl...

Clown. Comedian. Funny. Happy.

*FLASHBACK*

"Momma, when I grow up I want to be a comedern!" I giggled and ran around.

"Momma, look at mwy funny face! FUNNY FACE!" I pulled my tongue out and my momma hugged me.

"Haha! Wow, you're going to be the BEST comedian Ri-ri-tan!"

"Dada, will you watch mwy funny face?" I pleaded to my dada. "PWEEASSEEE?"

"Not now Rima." he snapped "Rin, don't encourage her. It's a bad dream. Comedians are useless. And teach her how to speak properly."

"Akito... Don't be so cruel!"

"I don't want to have a daughter who becomes something worthless like a comedian. She must succeed!"

"You have no right to destroy her dreams just because yours didn't work out!" she screamed at him.

My dada's face darkened.

"You are my wife. You will NOT speak against me!" he shouted angrily.

"And she's your daughter! You never do anything to encourage her, you selfish bastar-" my momma was cut off as my dada hit her.

"Fucking shut UP!" he screeched "Why don't you just SHUT UP! You're a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. I never should have married you!"

My momma just sat, curled up on the floor, tears streaming down her face.

I tried to crawl over to help her but dada pushed me away.

"No. Don't crawl to her. Walk or you'll be punished. How old are you, four? Old enough to walk and talk properly."

"But Dada... I want to help Momma..." I wailed, struggling through tears.

"She doesn't need or deserve your help. Now, call me 'father' not whatever you're trying to say. From now on things are going to be different. We are going to succeed as a family, and right now your mother and you are holding us back. Grow up or leave." he snarled before leaving the room.

I ran over to my momma and gave her a hug.

"Momma, why is Da...'fader' being so mean?"

She just held my face in her hands and kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry Ri-ri-chan... Everything will be fine."

*END FLASHBACK*

That was the first time I can remember my dad even raising his voice, and it was also the end of the time in my life where happiness exsisted.

Just then the bell went and brought me back to the present.

Everyone stood up, but I still sat in my chair, a dazed look on my face.

Kairi looked at me with amusement in his eyes.

"It's break now. Come with me, I'll show you around." he said

Nodding my head in agreement, I followed him out of the room and down the large marble steps into the schoolyard.

"Wow, everything is so big here!" i exclaimed, giggling and clapping my hands together girlishly.

"You can drop the act now." he told me, matter-of-factly. "I won't tell anyone."

I blinked in surprise.

"What act? Oh em gee, are you talking about like, a drama club or something?" okay, I know that sounded really weak, but I was in shock. How could he know that this wasn't the real me?

Kairi sighed and pushed his shining glasses up his nose.

"Everyone has a character that they use for protection against the unknown. For it to leave and for you to become your true self will mean opening up to someone."

"Haha, I still don't get what you're talking about..." I said weakly.

"I think you do. You see, Mashiro-san, I believe you have an outer character. I think this, because I used to have one too. Only when I found my true... my true friends did I begin to leave it behind."

"You don't know anything." I said coldly, barely supressing the rage inside me. His mother hadn't killed herself, had she? I turned away, tears burning behind my eyes.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" I screamed at him.

I ran. I didn't know where I was going, all I wanted to do was get away from _him_.

An hour later the bell rang, and I sat curled up on the ground behind the gym. Tears made shining tracks down my face, and I wondered whether anyone would care if I missed fourth period.

Who am I kidding? Of course no one would care.

I wish everything would go back to the way it was before mom died...even though everyone was figthing all the time.

At least then I knew what I wanted to be...

"Dear God," I prayed "Help me to find who I really am...I can't stand this anymore."

Just then the strangest feeling came over me and then there was a beautifully patterned orange egg sitting in my hand, as if it had always been there.

I blinked in surprise.

"Wh-what?"

It was warm.

I peered at the egg closely, looking for a clue, anything, about how it got here.

As soon as I put it down in my lap again, something happened:

It cracked.

* * *

**Amu: OMG THAT IS LIKE, SO UNTHINKABLE, THAT AN EGG WOULD CRACK SASHA YOU FREAKING GENIUS!**

**Sasha: O.o... MPHHHH!**

**Ikuto: *tapes Amu's mouth* R&R**


	5. Chapter 3

*RECAP*

I peered at the egg closely, looking for a clue, anything, about how it got here.

As soon as I put it down in my lap again, something happened:

It cracked.

*END RECAP*

As I lifted up the egg to eye level someone came and stood behind me.

"What are you doing?"

I quickly shoved it deep into my bag and turned around.

The girl standing there was beautiful. She was tall and thin like a model, with long blonde hair flowing down her back. Her eyes were a deep violet colour, and in them I saw anger, curiosity and something I couldn't quite place, but looked as though it was always there.

"None of your buisness" I replied in the same blunt tone she had used.

She snorted.

"Seriously? You look like you've been crying." she reached down to help me up.

"I'm Hoshina Utau."

I heasitated slightly, then took her hand.

"So, why are you behind here all by yourself?" she didn't comment on the way I'd shoved the egg into my pocket.

"I just moved here." I told her in a monotone.

"Oh yeah, you're Mashiro Rima, the new girl, aren't you?" she asked

My face fell. Everybody had already heard of me? I've only been here a few hours!

"No, um, I didn't mean it like that!" she exclaimed awkwardly. "It's just that news travels fast!People haven't been talking about you or anything! I mean, they have, but only because we don't get many new students at half term! I'm sorry if I-"

"It's okay." I cut her off. "Don't worry."

She shut up.

We walked out from behind the school building not saying anything to each other.

An awkward silence. Great.

After a few minutes of wandering aimlessly she opened her mouth to say something.

"Hey, sorry if I was a little up front before. I'm not having a good day." she sighed.

"Tell me about it..." I whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing..."

Please don't tell me about your bad day because it would only make mine worse.

What I said was

"Don't worry, everyone has ups and downs."

Please, please, please don't load everything onto me.

"It's all because of Hinamori Amu."

My unwillingness was replaced by curiosity, but I didn't say anything. What if this was some prank by Amu to make people exclude me?

"Oh yeah, I know her. Pink hair, right?"

"Yes." she said stiffily. "Well, you see, she and I were friends in elementary school. In fact, we were best friends."

I nodded, showing she could continue.

"But then...we had a...disagreement... And I haven't talked to her since. I miss her a little sometimes."

The curiosity overwhelmed my original wariness, and I asked her the question that had popped into my head as soon as she told me.

"What was it about?"

"Do you promise you won't tell anyone el-...oh forget it. Everyone knows anyway, except for him. It was about a boy. A boy named Souma Kukai."

"WHAT!"

She glanced at me, a puzzled look in her eyes.

"You heard of him?"

"UM, NO. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA. HAHAHAHA."

Utau facepalmed.

"Well, anyway, nice that you've dropped that "I'm so much better than you" act." she smirked

"Hey! That's not fair!"

We bickered all the way to math class, which we had together. I was so greatful to have found a friend at Seiyo High.

I was way beind everyone else. The school I used to go to didn't teach this level of maths, so I found everything hard.

The teacher kept on asking me questions, and after getting about ten wrong she finally seemed to give up. I sighed in relief; I could go back to staring into space.

At last, the bell rang.

Utau and I walked out to the front gates together. While we were waiting for Utau to be picked up, she suggested I come over.

"Sure!" I said, excited that I'd made such an awesome friend on my first day.

I called my dad to tell him I was going over to her house, and he went into full overprotective parent mode.

"Will her mother and father be home? What time will you be back? Does she smoke? Does she do drugs? Is she depressed?"

Eventually I gave up trying to answer all of his questions and hurriedly told him

"I'll be back at 5:30, 'kay? Bye!"

"Perfect timing!" Utau exclaimed as her car pulled up.

I gwaked at the vehicle in front of me.

It was sleek, black, and impossibly long.

"Wow..." I muttered, suddenly feeling a little small.

"Come on! Get in!" she grabbed my hand and pulled me awkwardly into the car.

Inside, it was all soft and made of real leather. Forget about me feeling small. I felt incredibly insignificant.

I sat in a daze for ages, barely believing my eyes.

After a while I blinked, then looked up at Utau.

"I swear, this car must've cost more than my whole house."

For a second we were both silent, but then we started laughing. We laughed the ride to her house, and when we climbed out of the car I was dumbstruck again. A huge beautiful house stood in front of me, with an amazingly enourmous pool off to one side.

I was so amazed by the pool in fact, that I failed to see the boy relaxing beside it.

He looked up. The first thing I noticed was his hair; it was a weird, like Amu's, but instead of pink, this guy's hair was dark blue.

"Ikuto-nii-san...?" Utau whispered from beside me.

Something flared up in her eyes, the same one I'd had trouble placing before, that seemed as though it was always there, just hidden under the surface. I suddenly realised what that look in her eyes was.

Sadness.


End file.
